Shout-out to the Venture Capitalist investors who have been subsidizing our culture to gain users. My pals and I appreciate it.

The cheap Uber and Lyft rides you give us to inflate download and active user numbers. A live TV app like Hulu that squashes cable provider prices to gain subscribers in lieu of profit. Spotify, for an absurdly cheap monthly fee to access all music ever made. Amazon Prime for a subscription that includes so many perks I would hit the word limit on my free wordpress theme to explain. Robinhood, which lets me buy, sell, and short all the new Unicorn stocks.

Thanks guys, when you eventually raise prices so you can finally make a return on your investment, I might stick around, but then again there will probably be another well funded startup that will beat your prices.